This has been one of those weekends where every single person's heart is in touch with one another. We are all in pain and hurt in some way, shape, or form these last few days. And while it hurts, and no one knows how to register their feelings (and everyone feels a heart wrenching empathy with no outlet that could ever help) we all have joined together under a maternal cup of coffee/lit candle/puddle of emotion.
This is supposed to be a season in the blogosphere where we all take it easy and giggle and rejoice under pretty trees and home decor, and while I'm sure we will all still appreciate the pretty little things, I know that there will be an underlying tone of sadness during this season.
As you all know, I do not have children. My children are three scruffy dogs, because this is what I can do right now. Psychologically and physically, I can not have kids right now, so my nieces, nephew, and scruffybutts are my babies. Because this is what I have right now, I worship little ones. I have been overwhelmed with emotions all weekend. Feelings of doubt, fear, extreme sadness, and mild self-loathing.
This post is not to draw attention to myself, nor to ask anyone for their sympathies, as there are other people in the world who need it far more than I do right now. This is merely an announcement and declaration to myself that sometimes, we all just need to be human- and that is okay.
I debated back and forth about whether or not to even post something like this- as it is personal and not at all related to what Broke Ass Home is about, but at the end of the day, I got nothing accomplished this weekend other than being human.
After hearing of the tragedies in Newtown, as well as China and the underlying knowledge of all the horrible things that happened in the world this weekend that didn't get any media attention, because we live in an "unaffected state" we had to go on with our lives as normal.
We had company Christmas parties, we went to see the Hobbit, and we laid on our couch. We wanted desperately to get things done- as our to-do list is never ending- but the thought of lifting a screw driver or paint brush was enough to make me want to curl up with Teagie and watch sad movies all weekend.
Some days, we as people just can't do it and some days, it is hard to allow ourselves to be sad. But, if we don't give ourselves those days to let our minds work themselves out, the healing process is longer.
I hope you all forgive me for not accomplishing anything this weekend- I promise to get something accomplished and exciting done for you all, but for now I need to lay down, snuggle my dogs and amazing husband, order a pizza, and think that maybe, just someday, through one act of kindness from each of us, that the world will become a better place.
My heart goes out to not only those involved in these tragedies, but to everyone. I hope together, in this weird community we've built, that we can heal.