If you read the DIY blog realm like I do, you see post after post of "I love painting! Cutting in is so easy anyone can do it!"
I'm here to say right here, and right now, I SUCK at painting.
Yep, there we go.
It may not be so much that I suck at painting as much as I may be the queen of lazy painting. In my family we joke that everyone is masters of guerrilla warfare. My mom can sew anything- the insides look like crap, but the job is done.
My sister is the worlds worst organizer. She looks organized, but everything is crammed in pretty boxes so on the outside it looks lovely, but you still can't find anything.
I am a guerrilla painter. If you really look at my paint jobs, they suck, but the color is on the wall and if I hang up enough art- you can't tell how much I suck. (Photo editing software helps too...)
Here are some tips from the guerrilla painter.
1.) Make it fun
Turn on your pandora, take off your pants, get a large diet coke and rock out.
2.) EDGE THAT SHIT.
I don't understand why more bloggers don't recognize the amazing-ness that is an edger. I do not cut in. I don't. I suck at it, it looks like a toddler with a paintbrush tried to make something pretty...so I quit doing it, and I rock my edger.
It is like $3 at Home Depot and you can buy the pads at Wal-Mart for like $1 a piece. The doodad has wheels on it that glide smoothly along trim and moldings and gives you a nice 3 inch block of paint. Having that three inches makes it really easy to roll into and you're not spending hours cutting in a room. The trick with an edger though is to only edge a small section at a time, then roll it, or the edge will dry and you won't get a smooth finish. When Brenna and I paint together, she rocks the edger, I rock the roller.
Got a small space above a window or something? Edge the whole freaking thing. No point climbing up and down the ladder a thousand times. Just rub your edger all over the place- easy peasy.
Using this bad boy has also eliminated a lot of my tape consumption. If I use tape, I use frog tape, because the seal is a lot better than scotch blue, in my opinion, and I know my crappy paint job won't damage my wood. I only really tape places where there isn't enough of a lip for my edger (like around my fireplace) but even then, I taped it, and then edged over the tape.
3.) Get the stick thingy.
For some reason I never bought the stick thing before we bought this house, but I finally caved because our ceilings are so tall, even on our 6 foot ladder I couldn't paint all the way up. Now I use it almost all the time- it will cut your paint time in half and your legs will thank you the next day when you're not climbing up and down the ladder 47 times.
4.) Not gunna see it? Don't paint it.
Now, I'm not saying paint like 2 inches below where your couch hits and leave the rest- that's just silly, but say you have 1 inch between your woodwork and your floor boards. If a piece of furniture is for sure ALWAYS going to be in front of it, don't risk damaging your woodwork by painting it. Yes, I could tape it and get in there with my foamy brush and meticulously paint the whole thing, but for what end? Example; I'm painting the living room right now. We have a giant ass sectional that can not fit anywhere else in our house. It is ALWAYS going to be in front of that 1 inch gap, so no- I'm not going to paint it. By the time I get rid of the couch I'll want to re-paint anyway.
I know that doesn't sound lazy, because why paint 2 coats of primer only to paint color. Uhhh, because it makes your color stick better- obviously. Plus with primer, you just get your roller on the long stick, slap a couple coats on in less than an hour and you'll make it so you're not edging your new color on for the next three days to get a level coloring.
6.) Do it with someone else home to corral your dogs so you're not worried Seamus is gunna rub is fat ass in the paint and then scurry all over the house rubbing paint on everything.
Or maybe that's just at my house.
7.) Do it all in one night.
I don't care how tired I am, I'd rather stay up until two in the morning and get it done than to wrap all that shit up and seal everything and start over the next day. No. Do it once.
8.) Buy your supplies at Wal-Mart (but not your paint!)
Wal-Mart's paint is terrible...but their supplies are the same as everywhere else and they are so cheap you can stock pile rollers and edger pads (example, a foam brush at HD is $0.67-$2.00, WM has a pack of 12 for $1.50)
9.) Throw that crap out.
Because you stock pile everything at Wal-Mart you don't have to spend 2 hours scrubbing brushes and roller pads in your stinky utility sink. Yeah it's not the most environmentally friendly thing, but I'd rather buy it cheap and throw it out than deal with cleaning it only to have it probably be stupid and crusty anyway the next time I went to use it.
10.) If your walls suck Paint sassy, but Neutral, accessorize boldly.
In our first apartment, I painted the walls really fantastic colors. I loved them. I'm not kidding, our living room was pumpkin orange and peacock. It was awesome. I loved it. It only worked because all of our furniture was light and neutral, but now, after the 8 hour fiasco of painting the popcorn wall the Seal color (dark charcoal), from now all, all popcorn walls will be painted relatively calm. If a wall is flat and you paint it sassy, then you hate it, 2 hours later and it's gone. On a popcorn wall, you'll never get that part of your life back. So, to make it so I don't waste away with my foamy paint brush, all popcorn walls will be painted a sassy neutral and then be accessorized with the obnoxious colors that I love so very much.
So those are some of my lazy painters tricks. I'm sure I'll think of more the deeper into this house we get.
Do you guys have any lazy painting tips? Or lazy house tips in general?