Wednesday, April 17, 2013

If we had a million dollars we'd be done already.

Our yard is a hot. damn. mess.

When we first moved in it was really sweet, it had nice grass, a tree in the back, some weed issues but nothing to be flabbergasted about...

Then these guys came in. And stuff like this happened.

And then the drought came, and since we were new homeowners we didn't have a hose, and the hose faucet size was really weird so we had to buy adapters the time we were able to try to save the yard...this happened.

Pardon Bridget's blurry face...but she is sitting in the exact same spot that Nate is standing in the picture above.

Here's where I go crawl under a table and sob in shame.

We do not have grass, but we have lovely piles of dirt.

We do not own a shovel, but there are holes in the yard.

We do not know how to take care of a lawn, but we're trying.

If we had a million dollars we'd just call the trugreen people and have them show the world how amazing their product is on our lawn (that sounds lovely, doesn't it?)

We were going to get fake grass, but we need to rip the deck down and move it so we don't want to do that until it's done. But we love the idea of fake grass (like SYNLawn who's beautiful grass samples are pictured) because of the no maintenance, and the fact that fleas can't live on a lawn that doesn't exist. Lemme tell ya, getting fleas off 3 dogs is a full time job (if you haven't, try Trifexis, it's their heart worm medicine but it has flea repellant in it so there is no oily topical treatments!)

So, since this several thousand dollar project got put on the back burner (stupid roof...) we are still stuck at the mud pile in the back yard.

If we had a million dollars, we'd hire a lawn service, move the deck, rip down the mudroom and have an awesome post for you about how all this stuff just magically appeared in the back yard.

Sadly, instead we are stuck doing this.

Last night we got a huge yard bag of dead plants, poop and weeds pulled (and I still can't feel my face from the allergens)

I think our attack plan for this year is to mulch under the tree in the back (yeah, we have a tree, just one. The things you learn reading our blog), create a step stone path around the perimeter of the yard (anything we plant will be killed because the dogs do their patrols around the fence line, notice where Teagan is in that picture) and to try and get some grass growing. But even that sounds taxing and exhausting.

What are you guys' yard secrets? How do you get your yard looking acceptable?


  1. I think the step stone path is going to be great- I feel you on the dirt pit-ness. :( At least you don't have to mow a lot?

  2. yard posts all around! great minds think alike! Maybe you could just mulch the whole back yard--like a dog park! tree services will bring you free wood chips. My dogs, who are known for eating things like carrots and lighters, will not touch Trifexis. It's weird....even wrapped in ham, they would just spit it out (after eating the ham, of course). We like comfortis for fleas.

    1. We've actually considered doing wood chips for everything, it'd be a more attactive version of straw I think, but I did not know that we can get free wood chips- that would be AWESOME. I will have to try that. And that's funny about the dogs! Our are actually happy pill poppers. We can even throw them up in the air and someone will eat it.

    2. at least around here...if a tree service is working in your area, they need somewhere to dump friend got a truckload delivered. if you look on craigslist for free mulch delivered or free wood chips, something should turn up!

  3. I've been in my home for 13 years. It was my "single girl home" that I was supposed to be in for five years, then sell it and get into something nicer/bigger. Then I got married, and two years later, the bottom fell out of the real estate world. Now my house is worth nothing, and we are stuck here. ----enough of my sobbing...

    Anyhooo --- I've never been able to do anything with the grass, front or back. It gets all pretty lush and green in the summer, but it's only weeds fooling the eye. Then when we have any sort of drought, the weeds die and we have a dirt pit, not unlike your backyard.

    We tried TruGreen, and they are a massive crock of crap, and nothing else. I was home one day when they came by to spray, and was appalled at how they hardly got any spray on the lawn, went SO fast they didn't even do some parts, and after an entire season of all their special seasonal treatments, the lawn didn't change one bit, nor did any of the weeds go away. Crock of crap. THEN they stalked me for months trying to get my business back - ceaseless phone calls, email, snail mail. I'll never do that again!!

    This year we are looking for a landscape company to just do basic yard maintenance for us and hopefully get it in some sort of condition where we can get some seed down this spring and again in the fall to hopefully choke out the weeds. Problem is, after two companies that are not responsive at all, I'm getting very frustrated, and it's only April.

    So --- I hear your pain girl. It is totally embarrassing to have a crummy lawn. I remember when I was little (late 60s) and my grandparents had the most thick, lush, beautiful grass that we used to lie in and roll around in all summer. I just long for a yard like that now!! Though chances are I won't be rolling around in it, I'll be happy to just stroll in it barefoot at this point!!

    Good luck --- sorry I don't have any advice - just hang in there and do your best to not let it get too much worse.

    1. Well, and honestly, I think that drought screwed all of us in Michigan last year- it'll take a few years for us to all get our groove back!

  4. Our yard is gonna be crap this year too. Sad face. The drought last year really did some damage. We have always paid naturescape to fertilize and spray for weeds and have been really happy with them but doesn't do us much good if we have dead spots all over to begin with. It's gotta be rough with three fur babies in the one makes it hard enuff. Maybe take on planting new grass in small sections and using temp fencing to keep the rugrats out til it comes in...then move to another small section. I hate yard work! Just sayin....

    1. Great hint! We'd thought about putting up little chicken wire fences up around the yard while we try to grow some grass- we'll see how it all works out!

  5. Note to self: If you buy grass seed to put sure it is perennial. We had a builder who put down ANNUAL seed and, well, you can guess what happened the following year. Also had the experience of sod (not the same house) and would NEVER do that again, as it takes up major time with the watering (not to mention the water),and then it didn't look much better than the part of the yard we put seed on. If my husband had his way, we wouldn't have any grass to mow, just flowers and perennials....don't know what you can do with the dogs. Have you looked into that really hardy short grass (iron grass??) that you don't have to mow and it fills in well. Like the idea of a stone walkway.

  6. Oh back yard woes. We put sod down a few years back and after some super cold winters and ridiculously hot summers I now have bare patches galore throughout the back. I'm busy reseeding the grass, one weekend at a time and it's slowly, slowly coming back. One day my backyard shall be GLORIOUS!

    1. Thanks for the heads up on the sod...somehow in my head it's just magic grass. I'm with you on hoping someday to have a lush fantastic yard...

  7. Yards are SO much work. Like... an unbeleivable amount of work. I feel your pain. We have dirt too. Patchy grass spots. And MONSTER trees. One day you'll get it where you want :) One corner at a time!


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