Friday, August 23, 2013

The Nonsensical Hormonal Ramblings of a Cranky Preggy.

 Note: I'm crazy and hormonal today- so there is rude language in here and nothing involving home decor. If I had a life section I'd post it there, but I don't. 

The other day I was sitting on facebook for an obnoxious amount of time. Like, seriously, an unhealthy amount of time.

In my defense, I got attacked by a sinus infection (we're on day 10 right now of feeling like shit! Yeah!) and was stuck on my couch.

But, as I said, I was spending an abnormal amount of time on facebook, perusing through old posts and I saw that my friend posted this.


And I was like, yeah, you know what? We're going to get a little hormonal up in here today.

Pregnancy is weird. You have a lot of feelings that have no where to go. Almost like...two people's feelings worth. My friends told me as soon as we'd hit the second trimester it would be sunshine, rainbows, frolicking through a sex filled haze where everything makes you happy and you'd hump a cucumber in the grocery store.

LIES.

We are 15 weeks on Monday and you know what I want?

A fucking nap.
To not have a sinus infection that makes me feel like there's a canon ball on my brain.
To not feel like every time someone at work/home asks me a simple question, or tells me to do a simple task that they are INTERROGATING and ATTACKING ME. (Dudes, I know you're not, but I can't control the fury.)
To EAT A DAMN HAMBURGER. (Wookie is anti-cow...)

You know what else I'd like? To feel like we're making ANY progress on ANYTHING that we said we would do before the baby would get here.

But here we are 15 weeks in, heading towards the busiest time of the year for us, only to find out that we have about 3 free Saturdays between now and when the baby gets here. Can I already curl up in a ball and preemptively cry?

I miss hamburger helper. I know it's the worst thing for you on the planet, but I LOVE the damn strogonaff and the fact it takes me about 25 seconds to make. I miss diet coke. Granted, that one is my fault, I voluntarily am doing no caffeine...why I made that decision, I don't know. I mean, I guess I was all, "If I'm already quitting drinking and smoking I mind as well give up caffeine!" Well, you know what? Caffeine free diet coke is NOT the same as "leaded" diet coke. It's not even worth my time.

I think the weirdest thing about being pregnant is you KNOW you're being a nut. Something will fly out of your mouth and you'll almost watch them leave thinking, "wait. no. why? no!"

And then you have to sit sheepishly in a ball going "sorry. baby cranky...."

Granted, I am lucky to have a saint for a husband. Nate does not mind the crazy at all. He is getting really over the attachment to food. But what can I say? I'm a plus size girl with a baby that doesn't like cow and is bored of chicken.

Like, seriously, last night I told Nate I wanted Taco Bell. Something I haven't eaten in probably 4 years? But I told him explicitly I wanted a chicken chalupa with fire sauce.

Well, I got the chicken chalupa but Taco Bell forgot to give him hot sauce.

Enter pregnant sadness. I no longer wanted the chalupa. I was so hungry, but without the fire sauce, what is the point? It's just a flavorless mess at that point.

At least I am not a totally crazy wife and I didn't make Nate drive back across town for the hot sauce, but I was hungry the rest of the night because my appetite just shuts off when stuff like that happens. Literally SHUTS OFF.

One night I wanted curly fries from Arbys and they gave Nate onion rings instead.

SHUT OFF. (Besides, uhhh gross. Onion rings...)

Another night I wanted strawberries. I opened the container in the fridge and they were like all gone or dead. All we had was raspberries.

Done. Shut off.


So this is what has been happening in our house lately. I'm being crazy, and aware of my craziness. Nate's being a Saint (and is secretly happy he's back to school three nights a week) and humoring me while I mope over hot sauce and curly fries. We're both confused as to how I'm 15 weeks in and down 15lbs. You know....pregnant basics.


Anyone have any ridiculous pregnant stories from your time? Pregnancy is nothing except a time to laugh at yourself.

10 comments:

  1. The worst part of being pregnant for me was that I was so damn indecisive! Especially with food. I can remember trying to order at a restaurant and literally being like, "I'll have an iced tea. No, wait. A Sprite. I mean root beer. Yes, root beer. That's the ticket." No idea. I basically lived on Taco Bell and nachos. Being pregnant can really suck. I also had the worst cold of my life when I was pregnant - but having a Neti pot totally saved me. If you don't have one, get one!

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  2. I'M FAMOUS!

    Well, I have no pregger stories for you but I can say we are rooting for you and Nate here! What are your thoughts on Turkey breast? When I get sick of chicken I swap it out for Turkey breast. Different flavor & texture and tasty!

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  3. When I was pregnant, I lost weight also, but the doctor's weren't concerned because I am overweight already, and the baby was growing just fine. Just be glad the pounds are coming off and not going on! ;) Oh and I (even when I'm not preggo) have some crazy irrational food/emotion issue. Sometimes I just crave something so badly, I feel like my body needs it, not that it just sounds good, there is a difference! But I will start to get irritated/pissy if I don't get it. It just feels like I NEED it! lol what can I say, I'm crazy with or without baby in utero :P

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  4. Isn't it just some insane kind of meanness in the design of the universe that being aware of the crazy does nothing to remove the crazy? In fact, it just makes it worse--because you are so completely aware of how crazy you're being. So not only do you feel shitty from the crazy, but you feel shitty about BEING crazy.

    Not to scare you or anything, but this might be really good preparation for motherhood! ;-)

    Hang in there (like you have any other choice, right?). It really, truly is all worth it. Every single weird food craving/denying moment. Thanks for the smiles this morning.

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  5. I feel ya. I feel like you are doing a much better job at handling it. I just hide under the blankets and won't talk to anyone. I cried my eyes out yesterday over not having a kitchen sink. Emotions are hard :( Bitch to me anytime you need to!

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  6. You know was really crazy when she was pregnant? My stepmother. Me, on the other hand? I was COMPLETELY normal and sane. Yep. Ask anyone. Except anyone who lived with me. Don't ask them. ;)

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  7. I feel you, girl. We were mounting our tv on a wall in the living room and for some reason my now-husband, father-in-law, and brother-in-law decided it would be cool to cut into the wall in our soon-to-be-born daughter's room which shared the wall. Which turned into a three-foot long hole. I kept it together until everyone left and then sat in the middle of the room and cried (because, why a hole THERE? Like it could never EVER be fixed). I had a bizarre out of body experience where I could see how dumb I looked but could not help it. My husband still laughs and does the perfect imitation of my ugly-cry. I sooooo get it. But it gets easier to control the crazy after a while, so there's a glimmer of hope!

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  8. Strawberries, I craved them my entire pregnancy...

    First trimester all I wanted to do is sleep, second, all I wanted to do was puke and I'm so short, I was in pain the whole time because my pelvis and everything had to stretch so much. Plus I was on the maximum dosage of gas-x. Never in my life had I had gas to the point of having to take meds, but I thought I was miscarrying it was so bad. Third semester, I was immobile I got so big. As soon as the baby was healthy, they had to induce!

    Pregnancy was CRAZY. My husband regularly states he doesn't think he could go through another mollie pregnancy...

    Blogging was great though, I chronicled everything during the pregnancy and my birth story. It's been a great place to keep it, if I had to go back and write it now, I wouldn't have any of the details I was able to get doing it real-time on the blog.

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  9. I can't say anything about being pregnant, but I had to give up caffeine a few years ago because it was giving me headaches. I, too, loved Diet Coke more than anything in the world. I find that drinking Caffeine-free Diet Pepsi is much, much better than CF Diet Coke. Maybe because I expect it to taste differently?

    Anyway, good luck!

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  10. I drank 5+ litres of milk a week and had to cut back because I was afraid of giving myself gestational diabetes. I also could not tolerate any meat at all in the first 4 months or so (smelled AWFUL) and as a result really improved my diet! I didn't gain weight in my pregancy until later on when meat came back (and my kid was growing, obvs).

    I had an April baby but live in the Yukon so it was juuuust barely spring and I really recommend getting/using hiking poles (with the option of spikes on the bottom) when things freeze over. It improves stability, lets you pick around icy bits on the ground and makes you look like a bad ass yuppie making your way down the boulevard.

    For real though, they saved me from tipping over a couple times when I couldn't right myself with windmill arms and avoiding muscle strain when your abs are already maxed out is a good thing! My husband was so worried I would slip while pregnant he would grip my arm like you would a true geriatric and the poles helped him let me walk around without worrying. Plus you can poke people who get in your way and open automatic doors from 3 feet away.

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